"Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true." –Niels Bohr, Danish Physicist
"Hurry up, Grandma!" a fourteen-year-old Gina yelled from the living room floor. "The Lynda Meyer Show is starting!"
"I'm coming. Eh, eh, eh. I'm coming," a tired, old, weak voice called from upstairs, followed by a steady stream of creaks, thumps, and eh's. Gina and her mother weren't sure if the creaks were coming from the old wooden staircase or Grandma's old, fragile joints.
She made the long journey down two flights of stairs during a preview for the latest made-for-TV movie. She scuffled across the front room carpet holding onto her walker during the opening credits. She finally made it to her favorite chair—an avocado green recliner, a gift from a son she hadn't seen in over a decade—just as the theme music was ending. She maneuvered herself in front of the chair and said a quick prayer.
"Mom, let me help you into your chair," her daughter started to rise from the couch keeping one eye on the TV screen so she wouldn't miss anything.
"You'll do no such thing, young lady. I ain't no invalid yet. I can still sit down in a chair all by myself. Why, the day I can't even do that is the day you should just throw me in an old pine box." She fell backwards into the chair. The springs squeaked success. "Oh, the sacrifices I make for my shows." She said another prayer of thanks for making it here once again.
"Mom, are you sure you don't want us to get you a new chair? That one is getting pretty worn out."
"Certainly not, child! This is my favorite chair. I've been sitting in it for over ten years. It just wouldn't feel like home without it. Besides, it was a present from your brother Oliver. It's the only thing I have left to remember that ingrate by. Would it kill him to pick up a phone or send a postcard once in a while? I was in labor with him for 26 hours. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be in labor for 26 hours? Of course you don't; little Gina popped right out in ten."
"Ok, Mom, just sit back and enjoy the show. I'm sure Oliver will call one of these days."
"He'd better if he doesn't want to be cut out of my will. And I'll do it I will. You just watch."
"All right, Mom, just watch the show. We've already missed the opening, and now the commercial break is over."
They all turned their attention to the center of worship in every American home: the TV.
"Welcome back. I'm still Lynda Meyer, and this is still my show."
"Wouldn't miss it, Lynda," Grandma called to the talking head on the screen, "no matter how much my joints start to ache or how fragile my bones are getting."
"With us now is noted scientist and professor of quantum physics at Brennen University, Dr. Richard Louis. Everyone, lets give a warm round of applause for our guest!"
The audience was more than happy to oblige as a grey-haired, old man sitting on a chair across from Lynda turned towards them and smiled before taking another sip of his warm beverage.
"Dr. Louis, thank you for joining us today."
"Thank you for inviting me, Ms. Meyer." He sat up straight and stuck his chest out slightly. "It is always a great pleasure to be invited to speak about my work to such a large audience."
"Dr. Louis has a new book coming out in two weeks titled Beyond Hyperspace and the Possibilities of Time Travel. What an exciting title!" She held up a copy of the book as the applause came pouring in once again. She turned to the liver-spotted old man. "Dr. Louis, could you tell us briefly what your new book is about?"
"I would love to, Ms. Meyer. As the title suggests, I go beyond the current theories dealing with the subatomic world and outline the work that is currently being done by myself and a number of my esteemed colleagues at various universities and research laboratories throughout this country, as well as several others. I discuss the advances we have made in our understanding of the fundamental building blocks of reality, and how those advances have increased the standard of living for everyone—not just those in the first world. I also explore several theories of time travel and discuss the possibilities of each, as well as experiments currently being conducted to make that possibility a reality."
"Dr. Louis, your book was so well written, the chapters arranged in such a logical progression, and the difficult theories explained so clearly that even a talk show hostess could understand them. You must have had a lot of help from your co-author, didn't you?"
"Stephanie Munds, one of my top graduate students, did contribute significant time and energy to add a bit of polish to this project, yes, but the original draft as well as topics covered and theories presented were completed by me. Why do you ask?"
"No reason," she smiled and turned towards the live studio audience. "Folks, if you've ever thought quantum physics was too difficult or too boring to understand, then you certainly haven't read this book. The theories are explained in everyday language and illustrated using everyday examples. Some of the examples are pretty funny, and others will make you really scratch your head and think. You'll never look at the world around you the same way again."
The crowd burst out in applause.
Sitting at home in her avocado green rocker, Grandma strained her head toward her daughter and said, "I'm going to get me a copy of that book."
"Me too!" her daughter clapped enthusiastically. Gina looked up from the floor. "Really? Do you think you'll actually ever read it?"
"Oh hush, dear," the two said in unison.
Back at the studio, Dr. Louis took another sip of his warm beverage. "Ms. Meyer, I want to thank you for such a generous and unqualified recommendation of my book. You know," he adjusted his glasses, "several of my colleagues at the University discouraged me from coming onto your show. They claimed you like to stir up a bit of controversy, create a bit of scandal, and put your guests into uncomfortable positions on live television, but I can see that you are too much the polished and consummate professional to resort to such base and disgraceful tactics." He took another sip of his warm beverage with great satisfaction.
Lynda smiled a little too brightly. "You've never seen my show before, have you, Dr. Louis?"
"Well," he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "no, not exactly, but I have been meaning to and almost did on one occasion, but my schedule was so hectic, and I was working on this book and my teaching—"
"That's ok. If you had seen the show, then you wouldn't be so surprised by our next guest. Jim, let's bring him on out! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our next guest, Dr. Tenma Whittaker, editor of The Journal of Science Nonfiction!"
The crowd followed orders and set about blistering their hands from hearty applause. A royal purple curtain lifted to reveal a red-bearded man in a tailored blue suit. He waved to the audience as he walked into the spotlight. He made a full loop around the stage—basking in the waves of applause—before walking over to Lynda. He reached out his hands to shake hers.
Dr. Louis wasn't smiling. He took another sip of his warm beverage to hide what he was doing.
"Dr. Whittaker, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to join us today."
"Thank you, Ms. Meyer, for inviting me. I'm a huge fan of your show. I never miss it no matter where in the world I am."
"You are too kind. And please, it's Lynda."
"Lynda, then." He took a seat next to Dr. Louis who turned to look the other way.
Lynda smiled with a glimmer in her eye. "Have you two met before? You're both so well known, I would think you have."
"We have," Dr. Whittaker answered.
"We have?" Dr. Louis questioned.
"We have, at the Children of the Atom Conference a few years ago in Chicago. You presented a paper on the validity of string theory and the necessity for ten dimensions, while I presented one on the need for science fiction to inspire the next generation of bright young minds to become scientists."
"That was you?" he said in a patronizing tone.
"That was me. And you seem as impressed now as you did then."
"Well, what do you expect with a topic like that. It was a serious scientific gathering, not a Star Trek convention."
"Many of our top scientists wouldn't be making the scientific advances they are now if not for Star Trek."
"So you two have met," Lynda interrupted, "and you're old friends. How lovely!" She grinned. "Dr. Whittaker, I've heard rumors about a lead feature you're planning to run in your next issue of The Journal of Science Nonfiction, which just happens to come out the same week as Dr. Louis' book. Is there anything you can tell me about the article, such as what it's about and who wrote it? Come on, let me and my viewers in on all the details."
"Well, Lynda, since you asked so nicely," he leaned forward, clasping his hands, "I'll let you in on the secret." He leaned back on the couch and stretched his arm out on the back in the direction of Dr. Louis, who slid a few inches to the side. "A brilliant young scientist by the name of Brent Jakes has made a discovery as important and revolutionary for our day as the sun-centered solar system was for Galileo's day: he has discovered the Unified Field Theory!"
Dr. Louis scoffed. The audience sat there silent. Someone thought they heard crickets chirping.
"The Unified Field Theory," Dr. Whittaker repeated wide eyed while shaking his hands at the audience. Lynda just sat there silently waiting for him to explain.
He turned to Dr. Louis, "Surely you discussed the Unified Field Theory in your book, and Lynda read your book so she knows all about its importance?"
"Of course not. Why would I include that?" Dr. Louis took off his glass and started to clean them. "No one has discovered it yet. When they do—and it'll probably be one of my protégés who does—I'll write a book about it."
"Well, get ready to write another book, because someone has discovered it." Dr. Whittaker's eyes lit up like a little kid's at Christmas. He turned to the audience to explain, "The Unified Field Theory is the Theory of Everything. It explains how all matter and energy work together. Scientists since Einstein have been trying to formulate it, but have always failed—until now!"
"And what would this theory of everything be used for?" Lynda asked, trying to get him to explain more and recapture the audience's attention.
"Everything, of course! It would change the very way we look at and interact with the world."
Lynda sat there with a you'd-better-do-better-than-that expression on her face.
"This will unlock the door to new sources of inexhaustible energy that won't cause any pollution. This will lead to new technologies that we can only dream of now such as invisibility cloaks and transporters, and ways to interact with the world such as allowing a man to defy gravity and fly like Superman!"
Now the audience was getting it. They showed their excitement in another explosion of applause.
Back in her avocado green chair, Granny turned to her daughter, "I'm going to buy that magazine."
"Me, too," he daughter agreed over her thunderclaps of excitement.
Lynda signaled for the applause to die down, then leaned forward in her chair, putting her hand under her chin to support it. "And what does this mean for Dr. Louis' book?"
Dr. Whittaker chucked under his breath and turned to look at his colleague. "Unfortunately—and it pains me to say this—it means that Dr. Louis' book is already out of date."
Dr. Louis jumped to his feet, knocking over the table and spilling three warm beverages on the carpet. He pointed a finger at Dr. Whittaker. "How dare you?!" He turned to Lynda, "How dare you? I did NOT come here to be insulted, Lynda!"
"Which is what makes this show so much fun. And it's Ms. Meyer, not Lynda."
He scowled, his face turning new shades of red.
"We have to pause right now for a word from my wonderful sponsors. But stay tuned—I have a feeling the fun has only begun." The theme song played leading to the break.
Dr. Louis glared at Dr. Whittaker. "You," he pointed, "how DARE you pop up with this announcement just as my book is being released?! How DARE you come on this show and steal my spotlight?! How DARE you?! And who is this Dr. Jakes? Why haven't I ever heard of him?"
Dr. Whittaker calmly dusted off his suit coat and slid Dr. Whittaker's finger to one side so it wasn't right in his face. "Brent Jakes is a brilliant young man who has been working for years on this theory. And don't worry about never having heard of him—you'll be hearing plenty about him soon. He's about to become the most famous scientist in history! Move over, Einstein, here comes someone meatier."
Dr. Louis folded his arms and tried to pull himself inside his shell like a turtle. "We'll see."
